Giving and receiving a lei in Hawai’i is more than just a simple transaction; it’s a deeply ingrained cultural tradition representing love, respect, and aloha. Understanding the proper etiquette ensures your gesture is received with the intended warmth and avoids any unintended offense. Knowing the history, types, and associated customs is key to participating respectfully in this beautiful Hawaiian tradition.
The History and Significance of Lei
The lei, in its simplest form, is a garland or wreath. But its story stretches back centuries, long before tourists ever set foot on Hawaiian shores. Ancient Hawaiians, with their deep connection to nature, crafted lei from native flowers, leaves, seeds, nuts, shells, feathers, and even bone, offering them to their gods and goddesses. These adornments were not just pretty decorations; they were sacred offerings, imbued with mana (spiritual power). Each element held significance: the fragrance of the flowers, the texture of the leaves, the very essence of the island from which they came. They were given in ceremony to mark important life events, seal agreements, and honor chiefs and dignitaries. The tradition evolved, blending with influences from Polynesian voyagers and, later, Western visitors, yet the underlying spirit of aloha remained. Today, while the lei is often associated with welcoming tourists, it continues to carry a depth of cultural meaning for Native Hawaiians.
Types of Lei and Their Meanings
The world of lei is surprisingly diverse, each type offering a unique sensory experience and carrying its own subtle message. Here are a few of the most common you’ll encounter:
- Flower Lei: These are perhaps the most recognizable, crafted from a variety of blooms. Plumeria, with its sweet fragrance and delicate petals, is a popular choice. Orchids, often imported, offer vibrant colors and lasting beauty. The specific flower can sometimes carry a deeper meaning; for instance, the pikake, a small, fragrant jasmine-like flower, is often associated with love and romance.
- Shell Lei: Found in abundance on the beaches of Ni’ihau, these leis are revered for their intricate designs and enduring beauty. Ni’ihau shell leis are highly prized and can be very expensive due to the time and skill required to create them; it can cost anywhere from $100 to thousands of dollars depending on the size, shape, complexity, and type of shells used. They are a true testament to the artistry of Hawaiian craftspeople.
- Kukui Nut Lei: These leis are made from polished kukui nuts, often strung together with natural fibers. The nuts can be left in their natural brown color or painted black. Kukui nut leis represent enlightenment, protection, and guidance.
- Leaf Lei: Constructed from fragrant leaves, like maile, these leis symbolize peace and respect. Maile lei are often draped open around the neck, rather than tied, and are particularly associated with weddings and graduations. They impart a very distinctive verdant aroma that is subtle and unforgettable.
Beyond these common types, you might encounter leis made from seeds, feathers, or even candy. The key is to appreciate the craftsmanship and thoughtfulness behind each creation.
The Art of Giving a Lei: Essential Etiquette
Presenting a lei is an act of aloha, and following these guidelines ensures your gesture is well-received:
- Approach with Respect: Always approach the person you’re giving the lei to with a smile and a genuine spirit of aloha. Make eye contact and speak in a warm and friendly tone. Avoid being overly casual or flippant.
- Presentation Matters: Gently place the lei around the recipient’s neck. If you know them well, a light hug (honihoni) while exchanging the lei is common, touching your nose to their cheek and inhaling, but always gauge their comfort level first. With someone you don’t know well, a warm smile and a “hau’oli lā hānau” (happy birthday) or “aloha” as you place the lei around their neck is more than sufficient.
- Avoid Placing Lei on Yourself First: It’s considered impolite to put the lei on yourself before giving it to someone else. The lei is meant to be a gift, not an accessory that you’ve already worn.
- Consider the Occasion: The type of lei you choose should be appropriate for the occasion. A simple flower lei is perfect for a casual greeting, while a more elaborate lei might be fitting for a graduation or wedding..
- Handmade is Always Special: If possible, consider giving a lei that you’ve made yourself or purchased from a local artisan. This adds a personal touch and supports the local community. Even buying from a farmer’s market rather than a big chain store can offer a more personal touch.
Receiving a Lei: Grace and Gratitude
Receiving a lei is an honor, and showing your appreciation is crucial:
- Accept with a Smile: Greet the giver with a warm smile and a heartfelt “thank you” (mahalo). Expressing genuine gratitude is key.
- Wear it Immediately: It’s customary to wear the lei immediately as a sign of respect and appreciation. Avoid taking it off right away, as this could be interpreted as a rejection of the gift.
- Proper Wear: The lei should be worn draped around the neck, allowing it to hang freely. Avoid twisting or knotting the lei.
- Handling Damaged Lei: If the lei breaks or becomes damaged while you’re wearing it, don’t discard it carelessly. Treat it with respect, gathering the pieces and either repairing it if possible or disposing of it properly. Some suggest returning the natural materials to the earth, but this is not applicable in all cases (e.g., plastic leis may break).
- Lei Care: If you want to preserve your lei, store it in the refrigerator in a plastic bag to keep it fresh for a few days. Some flower types preserve better than others. If you wish to preserve it longer-term drying it flat can be done, but can compromise the lei’s original beauty.
When is it Appropriate to Give a Lei?
Lei are given on many occasions in Hawai’i. Tourist arrivals are particularly commonplace occasions to give a lei, for example. Some of the main occasions are:
- Arrivals and Greetings: Welcoming someone to Hawai’i or greeting them at the airport is a classic occasion for giving a lei. This symbolizes warmth and hospitality.
- Celebrations: Birthdays, graduations, weddings, and anniversaries are all perfect occasions to bestow a lei. The lei adds a touch of Hawaiian elegance and signifies celebration.
- Achievements: Recognizing someone’s accomplishment, whether it’s a promotion at work or success in a sporting event, is another appropriate time to give a lei.
- Farewells (Aloha ‘Oe): Giving a lei as someone departs is a bittersweet gesture, expressing love and remembrance as they leave.
- Just Because: Offering a lei simply to show appreciation, love, or friendship is always a welcomed gesture. You don’t need a special occasion to spread aloha.
The Dos and Don’ts of Lei Etiquette: A Quick Guide
To ensure you navigate the world of lei etiquette with grace and respect, here’s a quick rundown of dos and don’ts:
Dos:
- Do give with aloha (love, compassion, and respect).
- Do accept a lei with gratitude and wear it with pride.
- Do handle leis with care and respect.
- Do store leis properly to prolong their freshness.
- Do ask questions if you are unsure about any aspect of lei etiquette.
Don’ts:
- Don’t place a lei on yourself before giving it to someone else.
- Don’t remove a lei immediately after receiving it.
- Don’t discard a lei carelessly.
- Don’t give a lei without a genuine spirit of aloha.
- Don’t give closed leis to pregnant women (it is an old superstition and not followed by everyone, but should be considered).
Finding the Perfect Lei: Where to Buy and What to Consider
Whether you’re looking for a simple flower lei to welcome a friend or a more elaborate creation for a special occasion, Hawai’i offers a plethora of options. Here’s a guide to finding the perfect lei:
- Lei Stands and Flower Shops: These are the most common places to purchase lei. You’ll find them at airports, shopping centers, and along busy streets. Prices can range from a few dollars for a simple flower lei to hundreds for a Ni’ihau shell lei.
- Farmers’ Markets: For a more authentic experience, visit a local farmers’ market. You’ll often find vendors selling handmade leis crafted from fresh, local flowers. This is a great way to support local businesses and get a unique lei.
- Online Retailers: Several online retailers specialize in Hawaiian leis. This can be a convenient option if you’re purchasing from outside of Hawai’i or want to have a lei delivered in advance. Make sure to choose a reputable retailer that ships fresh leis quickly.
- Consider the freshness of ingredients: Look for bright colorful flowers that have not wilted or browned. Flowers that have begun to darken or have become spotted are not as fresh and will not long endure.
Lei-Making Workshops: A Hands-On Cultural Experience
For a truly immersive experience, consider participating in a lei-making workshop. Many hotels, cultural centers, and community organizations offer these workshops, providing you with the opportunity to learn the art of lei making from experienced practitioners. You’ll learn about the different types of flowers and materials used, the techniques for stringing them together, and the cultural significance of the lei. This is a wonderful way to connect with Hawaiian culture and create a special keepsake to take home.
For example, the Amy Greenwell Ethnobotanical Garden on Hawai’i Island sometimes offers lei-making workshops (check their website or call for current schedules). Several cultural centers around the islands often have similar offerings, like the Polynesian Cultural Center in O’ahu.
Beyond the Flowers: The Sustainable Lei Movement
As awareness of environmental issues grows, a sustainable lei movement is emerging in Hawai’i. This movement focuses on using locally sourced, eco-friendly materials for lei making, reducing the reliance on imported flowers and minimizing waste. Some lei makers are experimenting with using recycled materials or growing their own flowers. Choosing a sustainable lei is a way to show your respect for the environment and support responsible tourism.
Real-World Examples of Lei Etiquette
Let’s look at a few practical examples of how lei etiquette plays out in real-life situations:
- Welcoming a Friend at the Airport: You’ve arrived at Honolulu International Airport (HNL) to greet a friend. You’ve brought a plumeria lei as you know they love the fragrance. As they come through the gate, you smile, make eye contact, and say, “Aloha! Welcome to Hawai’i!” Gently place the lei around their neck and give them a warm hug.
- Attending a Graduation Ceremony: You’re attending a graduation ceremony for your niece. You’ve decided to give her a maile lei, symbolizing respect and achievement. After she receives her diploma, you approach her with the lei and say, “Congratulations! We are so proud of you.” Drape the lei around her neck, open (as is traditional), and offer a warm embrace.
- Saying Farewell to a Colleague: A colleague is leaving for a new job. You want to show your appreciation for their contributions. You present them with a kukui nut lei, symbolizing guidance and enlightenment. As you give them the lei, you say, “We’ll miss you. We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.”
Addressing Common Misconceptions about Lei
Despite their widespread use, several misconceptions surround lei. Let’s debunk some common myths:
- Myth: All leis are created equal. Fact: Different types of leis hold different meanings and are appropriate for different occasions. Understanding the nuances is essential.
- Myth: It’s okay to remove a lei immediately after receiving it if you don’t like it. Fact: Removing a lei immediately is considered disrespectful, regardless of your personal preference. Accept the gift gracefully and wear it for a reasonable amount of time.
- Myth: Leis are only for tourists. Fact: While leis are often given to tourists as a welcoming gesture, they are an integral part of Hawaiian culture and are given on many occasions, both formal and informal.
Practical Tips for Travelers: Lei on a Budget
Experiencing the joy of giving and receiving lei doesn’t have to break the bank. Here are some tips for travelers on a budget:
- Consider less expensive options: Simple flower leis made from readily available blossoms often cost far less.
- Attend a lei-making workshop: Crafting your own lei is not only cost-effective but also a fun and culturally enriching experience.
- Shop at local farmers’ markets: Farmers’ markets often offer lower prices compared to tourist-heavy areas.
- Share a larger lei: If you’re traveling with a group, consider buying a larger, more elaborate lei and sharing the experience.
FAQ Section
Q: Is it disrespectful to give a lei made of plastic?
A: While natural materials are preferred, a plastic lei is better than no lei at all. The intention and spirit of aloha behind the gift are what truly matter. However, where possible and without creating financial constraint, always opt for natural materials. Consider the environmental impact to preserve Hawai’i’s inherent beauty.
Q: What should I do with my lei after I’m done wearing it?
A: It’s considered respectful to return a lei to nature. You can hang it in a tree, bury it in the ground, or scatter the petals in the ocean (if it’s made of biodegradable materials). Avoid throwing it in the trash carelessly.
Q: Is it okay to give a lei to someone who is allergic to flowers?
A: It’s always a good idea to be mindful of allergies. If you know someone is allergic to flowers, consider giving them a lei made of shells, nuts, or seeds instead.
Q: How long will a lei last?
A: The lifespan of a lei depends on the type of flower and how it’s stored. Some flower leis will only last a day or two, while others can last for several days if refrigerated. Shell and nut leis can last for many years if stored properly.
Q: Are there any flowers that are considered unlucky to use in a lei?
A: While specific superstitions vary, generally it’s best to avoid using flowers associated with death or mourning. Consult with a local lei maker for specific guidance if unsure.
References
Gutmanis, J. (2014). The meaning of Aloha. Honolulu, HI: Bess Press.
Kanahele, G. S. (1986). Kū Kanaka: Stand Tall. Honolulu, HI: University of Hawai’i Press.
Pukui, M. K., Elbert, S. H., & Mookini, E. T. (1974). Place Names of Hawai’i. Honolulu, HI: University of Hawai’i Press.
Embrace the spirit of aloha, and let your journey in Hawai’i be filled with meaningful connections. By understanding and respecting the traditions surrounding the lei, you’re not just a visitor; you’re becoming a part of the vibrant tapestry of Hawaiian culture. So go ahead, learn how to make a lei, support a local artist, and share the invaluable gift of aloha. Your thoughtfulness will truly make your experience unforgettable.
